The Perilous Case of the Puked Panties

Ya know how your mom used to tell you to make sure you wear clean undies, in case you get in a car wreck…Well, my mom never did, but you figure, if you’d been hit by a car, there’s a good chance your undies won’t be clean anyways. 

But I digress…When making a surgery appointment, the receptionists make sure that you, the client are informed to take your pet off food the night before the surgery after 10pm. 

This is to minimize the chance of your pet vomiting due to the anesthetic, and resultant complications.  Which is all well and good, but it looks like picking up the food is only half the battle. 

The week before Christmas, one of Dr. Sharp’s patients vomited up a whole pile of festive red paper clips.  (we gathered that one up and placed it on his desk as a cheerful holiday decoration).  Other dogs have vomited piles of cigarette butts, socks, toys, rubber bands, etc.

But this one gives a whole new meaning to “airing your dirty laundry”.  A really pretty Golden Retriever comes in to be neutered.  Dr. Sharp gives him the pre-sedation drug called Domitor.  This is to make them woozy so we can then give them the gas to knock ’em out (I like to use the highly scientific terminology, keeps ya on your toes).   Anyhow, on occasion Domitor makes animals nauseous (sometimes people use it on cats for the sole purpose of making them vomit when they’ve ingested poison). 

So this dog pukes a big pile of miscellaneous stuff.  The resultant debris was swept into a baggie for further examination later on.  (this is what people in the vet business like to do, we like gross stuff, this is like a little treasure hunt for us).  

So the day wears on (there were actually 2 vomit baggies on the counter, guess it was a productive day) and Amy, our illustrious technician decides to do a CSI investigation of the vomitus. 

Coupla minutes later I hear…”It’s panties”!   Another tech, Lauren comes over for a closer look and exclaims “I have those, they’re from Victoria’s Secret”.  The incriminating panties are in pieces, so the techs painstakingly assemble the evidence (“Is it a thong?”)  Nope, it’s some cute (well,  cute for slightly bile-stained previously in a dog’s stomach) pink and green (? I think, again, not sure about the bile effect) bikini undies.

Then the staff started to think about the emotional impact of the investigation…”What if these aren’t the wife’s panties???” 

I overheard the client joking about it, so it sounds like it all went ok.  

Watch those undies..’k ladies?


One thought on “The Perilous Case of the Puked Panties

  1. OMIGOSH! I was surfing and found your blog post–toooooo funny!!! I see you went to Texas A&M….My favorite rescue group is called Small Paws Rescue and they’re out of Tulsa OK. Texas A&M is THE place to go for heart murmurs, and some tremendous work has been done there. What a fabulous Veterinary School!!

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