My mother read my blog. She informed me that she would have liked it if I mentioned that English is her second language, thus long wordy diatribes are no fun for her to read. Furthermore, people of a certain age may have more trouble with these new fangled computer things. She said she’s computer illiterate, but that’s not entirely true because I know for a fact that when the internet became all the rage, she hired high school kids and took courses so she could partake in the new frontier. She doesn’t give herself enough credit. She’s very smart, and you have to admire someone who left her country with the clothes on her back at age 19 (with her mom, and little brother) to come here and have to learn a whole new language and build a life from scratch (and turned out pretty normal overall).
Anyhow, I was driving around today at lunch time, doing a little Christmas shopping, when I noticed a full size pickup truck with a big Pit Bull sticker on the rear window. Thus, denoting the owner of the truck as “Mr Tough Pit Bull Guy” (I guess). I suppose it could imply I (heart) Pit Bulls, or I (breed) Pit Bulls, or MAYBE, he’s one of those Micheal Vick dogfight guys. No telling, but he was proclaiming to the world that he’s got a thing for pit bulls.
That’s cool, I get that. However, could somebody please explain to me why this same fellow would hang a big pair of rubber cow testicles from the bottom of the truck? I’m driving along, minding my own business, when I notice these big pink testes dangling all around down there. AND we were caught in traffic, so I had to look at them for a long time. They were pink and veiny (I know that’s not a word, but they were!). They were placed where, I suppose, anatomically speaking, a trucks testicles would be, if a truck had need for reproductive organs. Perhaps the guy felt bad that he couldn’t share that aspect of his life with his beloved truck (I did not, however, notice a big dangly truck penis). Maybe, when the guy was younger, somebody told him to “grow a pair” and so he has to over compensate.
I wonder if people in New York or Connecticut drive vehicles with testicles on them, or is that just a southern thing. How about Europe…”Hi there chap, nice set of testes on the Mercedes”….I bet there’s a really cool British slang word for testicles, I’m currently reading High Fidelity, it’s finally getting good, and I love reading this guys stuff because a) it’s good and b) I like the words and phrasing the Britts use, like “snog” and “knickers”.
Another random thought occured to me while driving: I think control freaks should be reincarnated as trees or plankton. That’ll teach ’em.
OK, must talk about something work related. But random, nonetheless. This is purely anecdotal, and no offense to people with the following pets, but it seems to often be true: Pets named Gizmo, are often evil. The name originated back in the ’80’s with the movie Gremlins. Gizmo was the cute little creature that later morphed into the gremlin. Generally the Gizmos we see are very old, often blind Shih Tzu’s or Lhasa Apsos with horrible teeth who try to eat us. I wonder if it’s the dogs that were bred during that time period (because most of the Shih Tzu’s I see nowadays are very nice, Lhasas are a whole different story). Anyhow, I always cringe inwardly when I see a dog named Gizmo because I feel like I should go ahead and get the muzzle and leather gloves ready. Clients don’t appreciate that though on first meeting. I think they often secretly hope that this new vet will be “the one” that their dog will LOVE and won’t attack. Usually, after the dog tries to remove my finger, they mention…”oh he nips, but he would never bite”. Here’s a secret: in my book, they are one and the same, they both hurt.